Watch your language
So, I swear. If you read this more than once a week or so, you probably already know that. It seems to come out more when I'm writing than actually speaking, but still, it's there. Sometimes, I even like saying them. I feel bad because I know some of you who read my blog don't care for language like that. Matt's mom comes to mind foremost. I was telling him the other night that I worry a little when I use a swear word because I know she reads and I couldn't remember ever hearing her say anything like that. He said that he didn't think he'd ever heard her swear either, but also couldn't remember me saying anything bad.I reminded him of the several words that commonly pop up when I'm telling a story (you know, those few I kind of like to say) and he said he didn't even consider those swear words and couldn't imagine his mom minding. Well, my mom counts them and notices and minds. She has even mentioned it and tried to blame some of my friends for me picking up the habit. I tried to refute laying the blame there, but couldn't come up with anything concrete. Then something happened that made me realize where I learned to swear.
Howie dumped his drink down his shirt and into his lap at lunch for the second time in one day- making a third change of clothes necessary. Before I could do anything else, I closed my eyes and sighed. Damnit. Then it hit me. Like a revision of that bad anti-drug commercial from the early nineties- "from you, alright! I learned it from watching you!" I learned to swear from my mom.
She'll probably be mortified that I'm claiming that and may even deny it, but it's true. She taught me the swear words I use so commonly now. Granted, my dad cussed and swore, but worse words than I use and usually only in anger. Everyday, accentuate a story, vent frustration, come out in a sigh so you don't yell at your kids kind of swears? That's all mom.
I remember a a little girl who I often babysat getting frustrated with a toy. She threw it across the room and swore. I asked her where she learned it and she sheepishly said, "daddy." I later reported the incident to her mom who shook her head and said, "oh no, that's me." I think it's a common part of the coping arsenal for mom's of young kids. One quick word under your breath to bring your frustration level down a bit before you have to deal with something disappointing, discipline your child or try to turn something into a teaching moment.
Try it next time you feel that frustration welling up inside of you. You might be surprised that it makes a difference. Ask Jennifer if you don't believe me. Just be mindful of who's listening. I'm fully expecting a day in the near future when Howie repeats one back to me. Of course, I'll have to deny any part of it if he does it as an adult.
posted by Valarie @ 12:12 PM
11 Comments:
Valarie, I swear too. Believe it or not, my first words were in Sacrament meeting when someone bumped the water tray. I said "OH $H-T! Where could I have learned that? My mom got a lot of dirty looks that day. That is still my favorite word. That and damm1t.
It does make you feel better!
yeah, Im in the same boat. I even got told off by my sailor mouth father for my two year old saying dammit when she dropped something when she was over at their house. Ive had to have talks with andrew about bad words and now he very loudly points it out when ever I say one.
I too think that our swearing comes from our dear self professed "perfect" mother. ;) I remember hearing "dammit" and "sh*t" (sometimes repeated 3 times in a row) from our mother. I also remember her telling me once that Great Grandma Davies favorite word was "sh*t".
My 7 year old little man says "snap" instead of "sh*t" or crap. He also says "Freaky Hay" instead of frickin A (which he got from the 13 year old) or the other much harsher word associated with it. "Freaky Hay" came as a complete accident one day. I think he was going to say frickin A and was thinking hey at the same time. So now, freaky hay is used comonly in our house.
I do have to say that mom has really curbed her swearing and I do try to watch my language around her. But occasionally I say Shit. :)
Dad was a lumberjack!!!
Got to thinking today about (Valarie Jo)the name. Actually I think it is a pretty name. If you want to know where it came from call me before I post it.
Oh Valarie, if you only knew. Matt's Mom
as i say these "swear" words, i hear mom in my head, like "what the hell do you think you're doing?", and the thrice repeated sh*t, (my kid did repeat but for sure was from dad that time), i love you mom, but this is definitely where it started
Your family is KILLING me! ROFL. I love them all now. :)
Um, yeah. So not a saint either. (bowing head in shame) But, I have improved... ever since I said sh1+ in SS when Drew's threw his juice cup and it exploded everywhere.
But, it will be a long time before I give up my southern ways and consider damnit to be a bad word.
Okay. Totally laughing at this post and totally laughing at all the comments. My mom totally gets after me for swearing and it's the same. I learned from HER! lol.
We were at GNO a few weeks ago and I totally dropped the S bomb. Not just dropped it, YELLED it when I spilled my drink. At least everyone got a good laugh at my expense.
My baby says "shoot" and I'm glad it's not the stronger alternative. Goodness knows he's heard it enough.
I'm just scared one day my dd will say something in front of the bishop and I'll be hauled into his office for a quick visit. I just can't get over how a quick "sh$#"! makes it easier to handle things.
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