many mundane moments

Intuition

I'm going to have bruises from kicking myself this morning.

1- Matt and Howie left for his church about 9:40. I knew that I should get in the shower then, but I didn't- I read blogs and such. About 10:15 I stopped feeling like I should take a shower and was really not feeling like it. Thinking that was just my procrastinating self rising up, I marched myself to the bathroom in a triumph over laziness. About 2 minutes into the shower, I heard someone crying. Howie. They were home. He was mad. He fell asleep on the way to church, so Matt came back home. Howie woke up as soon as Matt tried to take him out of his carseat. If I hadn't been in the shower, I probably could have nursed him back to sleep and his nap would have been over by the time my church started. I probably could have even made it to the first hour, which generally is in direct conflict with nap time. As it is, Howie is just starting his nap now and church started 20 minutes ago.

2- I spent an hour this morning looking for a clipart picture to make into a coloring page for the nursery kids that I teach. I kept thinking that I should read the lesson again so that I could make sure I was looking for the right thing. I glanced at it last week and the lessons are super simple, so I thought I had a pretty good idea of what I needed. I found a picture and made the page and then picked up my lesson manual. This particular lesson has a coloring page incorporated into the plan, so my search was unnecessary. I tried not to bang my head against the keyboard.

3- My job often offers last minute time off one day in advance. It's highly coveted, and usually only request in the first minute or two get approved. I almost always watch for it on Sunday so that I can take Monday mornings off, because even though someone else is home to watch Howie, it's terribly inconvenient. I especially wanted it this week so I could arrange a play date. The time that the emails come out is very unpredictible. I've seen it as late as 3 pm, and yesterday it was 10:40 am, but it's usually between 12 and 1PM on Sunday. I stayed near the computer all morning after my ill-timed shower (and while I was searching for that picture), and then reluctantly went to eat lunch at 12:15. My sister sat down at the computer and I made her promise to refresh the email regularly while she was sitting here. All through lunch, I kept thinking that I should ask her if she was refreshing the page. I didn't because I didn't want to seem bossy or compulsive (of which I am both). She finished about the same time as our meal and told me that she accidentally closed the page. I re-opened it to see the time off email at the top. I hurriedly sent in my request and sat down for Howie's "I didn't want any lunch, now please nurse me" session. I looked more closely at the email. It had come out more than 10 minutes before. She forgot to refresh at all. damn. damn. damn. Let's hope everyone else was at church or spending time with their families or other Sunday activities and there weren't that many requests before mine. I have the feeling I'm going to have to work tomorrow.

I'm really on a bad streak for disregarding little promptings like that. Last week I decided to take a shower while Howie was awake and no one else was home. I almost never do this. I set him up with his favorite "Pooh Dare" movie, closed all the doors to rooms where he could cause trouble and locked myself in the bathroom. About halfway through, he started knocking on the door. I told him to be patient. He was quiet for a minute, and then there was a series of loud knocking followed by intense cries. I was determined to finish my shower without him playing peek-a-boo with the curtain, so I ignored my impulse to get out that second. I tried not to panic, telling myself that I was paranoid and that he was just having a hard time having to stay in the other room. I kept talking to him while I finished, but his cries didn't lessen at all. As soon as the water was off, I went to open the door with my heart racing and water dripping everywhere. I found him pinned against his dresser under a very full laudry sorter cart with his head and neck at an odd angle.

My current impulse is to leave what is effectively two mortgage payments in the bank and find a super cheap alternative to brand new furniture right now. We really need something, but I panic at the thought of committing that much to couches. I might be crazy and there's nothing to worry about, but I can't get that nagging feeling to go away. Stay tuned.

posted by Valarie @ 1:20 PM